Disgustingly Beautiful
by Brookie Bea
Summary: Edward Cullen is in denial. His weight goal was 95 lbs but is that enough? Edward needs help but is he willing to accept it? RATED M (ANOREXIA NERVOSA RECOVERY) ALL HUMAN
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone I decided to test my angst powers and decided this would be a good way to start off in that department. I'm testing the waters for this one because I really want to make it good.**

I stared at the fat, discusting body in the mirror. I had a double chin my arms were too fat my thighs too big, I pulled the skin from my stomach and shook it, snearing in discust of what I was seeing. I wanted to throw up...i needed it! NOW! I ran toward my bathroom across the hall from my room and locked the door pulling up the lid up from the toilet and waited till I comanded my body to throw up leaning over the toilet I let the remains of my stomach fat leave my system. I smiled to myself when I realized I probably lost another pound in such a short time. I went over to the scale and weighed myself looking at the numbers that would decide my progress.

_96 pounds_

_fuck!_

Tears crept to my eyes when I realized I still wasn't at my goal yet! Why is it taking so fucking long! Looking under the sink shuffling around the bottom for my release but I couldn't find it. I started to panic but sighed in releaf when I found the small razor that took away the thoughts and emotions for a few minutes, they were only a few but they were a huge weight lifted. I slid the blade across my skin on the inside of my forarm, along with all the other ones skattered around, permenent reminders of my goal to continue. I watched as the red melted sugar flow from my veins and sighed again. Watching it flow for a few more seconds I started to clean up. flushing the toilet and cleaning the razor was a slow process I felt completly drained and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I heard my mothers voice from down stairs calling me for dinner. I felt sick again. No way am I eating any fish tonight, ugh!

"I'm not hungry I'll eat later!" I yelled from upstairs, my vision blured so I grabed a hold of the wall to keep me standing, closing my eyes for only a second till I felt better enough to let go.

_okay no more yelling for me..._

"No, you will eat with us right now!" she was mad I could tell, I imagined my mothers brows furrowed and a frown on her face while she bit the bottom of her lip.

I wanted to scream and shout and stomp my way down the steps refusing everything and shoving all the _food_ in the garbage. Instead I just walked across the hall, rather loudly i might add, to my room again slaming it so hard the whole house shook. I didn't give a fuck. I looked inside my dresser and found a black long sleeved shirt and pulled it over my head along with my sweat pants I didn't care that it was August, I was cold. I stomped to my bed getting inside, falling asleep before my head touched the pillow.

**A/N: *Sigh* Okay this story means a lot me me in a way I have a friend in serious denial about being anorexic but everyone else knows it's starting to become a problem. I've started to do my research so I hope I didn't leave anything important out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ok sooooo I suck as spelling (looks at tital of story) yep...all credit goes to lissie boo love ya bb XD for her awesome betaing!**

**Disclamore: ...nope, sadly I do not. Own this I mean. Right?Right.**

This is the fith time I've weighed myself today and still no progress. I only have a week left to loose ten pounds before school starts, I've been working hard this summer so I can look good agian. My mom made me eat a hot dog today and wouldn't let me use the bathroom for the whole day. She even made sure I went to the bathroom before I ate. she thinks i have a _problem_ but honestly I'm la-di-fuckin-da, I'm still tired but thats normal, I'm always tired. I still threw it up though. When she went to the bathroom I just went down stairs and let it all out. She thinks I'm dumb, that I wouldn't find a way. We are back from New York now, we were visiting my mom's sisters for the summer, but now we just got back. Living in Forks Warshington; the wettest place in the continental U.S. for me is like freeing a parrot in the woods during hunting season, we both hated each other.

You know whay else I hated?

Fat...

Just...The thought of being so discusting made me wanna gag. I used to be fat...So fat i weighed at least two hundred pounds...Actually exactly two hundred fourty-five pounds. Thinking back to that time...I was made fun of to the point of wanting to quit school. They told me I was too fat and needed to loose some weight.

. Day.

After the amounts of times I was tripped and had food thrown on me...Of being called every name in the book...I said fuck it. Fuck_ them_. as soon as school let out I stopped eating and whatever I did eat (mostly from my mom forcing me to) I threw it all up, yeah I ate snacks every couple hours like carrots and stuff, but...I couldn't take it for much longer...Just the thought of eating them calories just getting closer and closer to that fat fuck I was...

~o0O0o~

_Last year:_

_Damn love my mama! Angel cake, pretzels, and the best sausage sandwitch with toasted crust, ever created was sitting in the little heaven called my lunch box. Being apart of the Cullen family had it's perks I guess. eating down the remainder of my sandwich I felt somthing hot hit me on the back, inside my shirt, so hot it burned! I quikly got up from my seat and pulled the back of my shirt away from my back looking around to see who smashed what seemed to be hot mashed patatos down the back of my shirt._

_I should have guessed..._

_Demitri and Kaite...Them fuckers._

_He embarassed me again, and again, and again. I felt the new tears start to build up in my eyes as my eyes burned and my throat felt like I was swalowing a football. I quikly ran toward the locker room to change my shirt, again, this week. _

_I hated feeling weak, felling that I can't stand up for myself, that I'm a complete coward._

_FUCK!_

_I went toward the sink to warsh my face. It was chubby and had lots of red sploches around my cheeks and neck. My reish hair and freckles just made it completly worse._

_I didn't have any friends, yep none except Bella maybe but she really didn't count since just our fathers are good friends. So once the bell rang signaling that lunch was over, no one came rushing to the bathroom to warn me, to let me know, to be with me._

_Demitri and I used to be really good friends when we were in Middle School and Elementry. The thing is, is well I'm gay and Demitri didn't really like that, that much when I told him the end of our eighth grade year. He denied it saying i was confused while no I wasn't, and loved him._

_Key word "loved" past tense._

_Now He just makes my life a living hell. Name calling and shit. When I started to gain weight I didn't think much of it kind of like watever I'm a growing boy, I'll even out, blah blah blah..._

_Now...It's beocome a problem_

_Maybe should just stop eating...That would help!_

_Right?_

**A/N: Tell me what you thought? review also...have you ever been bullied?**


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